This is a discussion on Punar Vivah - 9th May 2012 Written Update within the Punar Vivah forums, part of the ZEE Tv category; Punar Vivah - 9th May 2012 Written Update (Analysis)
Since I am not a part of this relationship and don't ...
Punar Vivah - 9th May 2012 Written Update (Analysis)
Since I am not a part of this relationship and don't have to worry about hurting any egos or burning bridges, I can say this:
I TOLD YOU SO, YASH SCINDIA!
Since yesterday's episode I felt like Yash was missing the point completely. He didn't tell Payal or Palak not to tease Ansh, he gave them no consequences whatsoever and on top of it, gave Palak a reason to hit back doubly hard. Palak was wrong in many ways yesterday, not only did she pull that stunt on Ansh in school, she told her dad school was fun and she lied about it when Ansh explained why he didn't want to go to scool, none of which was dealt with by Yash. So what would stop her from doing something like that again? What really freaks me out is how much joy these two kids get out of being horrid to Ansh. whatever criticism I had of Ms. Lobo, I take it all back. Her tone was absolutely justified if this is how the girls are with their peers.
Today Ansh observed keenly (and it is clearly a trait of his character to do so) that Palak tricked Aarti out of the room with her fake cough and then attacked him. Whey should be fight a battle which does not start on fair ground? And let's not even get started on how wrong that cough deception was! Palak is hugely manipulative and just plain cruel really. It all stems from insecurity that Yash absolutely refuses to acknowledge. Ansh, like Aarti vocalises his problems and concerns without a filter (which is how children should be) and so in this context he gets all the punishment, simply because he is straightforward and has been taught to communicate with his mother, rather than to manipulate her.
I do agree that there are some kids who make a fuss about going to school, but Ansh is not one of them, and Yash has seen that with his own eyes. Why is it that the moment a kid starts to act out they are immediately tagged as irrational? This is why Payal and Palak have learned to vent their frustrations so silently, because they aren't allowed to express them in any other way. Ansh doesn't want to go to school because he is scared and in his fear he is not able to express the source. But Aarti is intuitive enough to understand that the fear is very real and could be unhealthy. She is also not the type to let him miss school as we saw on the first day 9(when, btw, Ansh was crushed not to be able to go) but she sees something real in his fear. Yash has not developed this instinct of reading his children.
Ok coming to Yash's bhashan, I thought that it was hugely unfair and was shouting into my TV screen! LOL (I loved that he spied Bua spying and dragged Aarti to a quieter place. It seems he also resents the intrusion on pati-patni matters). When he said you have to take Ansh to the bazaar, I was like actually she didn't and guess what happened? And then when he said do you think we don't treat Ansh as our own, I was like actually...Gayatri doesn't, and finally when he said, "do I stop you from being a mother to my kids?" I was like actually, yeah you did. But I think the reason Aarti didn't respind despite feeling the injustice and the incorrectness of his remarks was because he hit her where she was weak, her trust issues. This is one area where she is humble enough to admit she lacks. So when he brings it up, I felt like she heard him and fell silent, agreeing that maybe she was wrong and maybe she had been a little "passassif" (never thought I'd hear that again! Wink) of Ansh. She gave in, thinking he has a point I should let him be the father. And she must be kicking herself for going against her maternal instinct now!
How stupid was that driver? No, really...Ermm An interesting aside for later, because right now I don't like Yash very much, is that both Aarti and Yash had the exact same reaction to the driver's revelation. They both went totally ballistic and I am glad. In the first place I am not sure how I feel about sending such small kids alone with a driver, and on top of that if he doesn't even take care of who he is serving in the context then it is really pitiful. Payal and Palak are scaring me with their guileful smiles. They are acting like no less than spawn of the devil right now and I hope they get outed sooner than later for their own sakes, they need help!
I refuse to dignify the Bua with a response. What nonsense. Angry
I loved Prateek in a crisis. He did all the right things, asking Palak about Ansh, finding out he hadn't been in school all day, getting the photograph. He is a great guy to have a round.
Finally, I cried with Aarti today, from the bottom of my heart. The anguish she must be in right now, knowing that she could have stopped this if she had just trusted her instincts and put her foot down and the very idea of where Ansh could be...that is terrifying! The strong Aarti, who can take any taunt and turn it into an endearment for her son, who can handle any situation with a sunny smile and a helping hand, breaks entirely when her son is taken from her. Kratika was absolutely brilliant today in that conversation with Shobha and the aftermath. I love how she called both to check for Ansh, and I think to just share the pain with someone who she knew would understand, because everyone at casa Scindia seems on a mission to undermine her every feeling and sensibility. She needed someone to panic with her at that moment and Shobha was the only one. It was nice to see her too.
I think Yash was absolutely shaken to see Aarti this way, because he has been trying to get a response out of her, approval from her for his decisions and the decisions he makes. He is horrified that he has completely broken this murat of resilience and for a second when Aarti breaks down, everything comes to a stand still while they all feel the weight of her grief and anxiety. And then Yash comes up with the solution. He will go find Ansh. How dare Gayatri stop Aarti from going? Would she have stayed at home if one of her sons were missing...well the honest answer is...probably, if Casanova ordered her to. But Aarti is not Gayatri and she will not sit at home. I just loved that fire in her eyes when she looked at her mother in law. She is working through this family for Ansh, when Ansh is in danger, what else matters? Good for her!
Precap: Not sure if it is a kidnapper or not. I kind of hope not. It could be a well-wisher too who is confused as to whey there is a kid crying on the street and will help him find his parents if he is lost. Too optimistic?
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Wowww what an episode ...I remember yesterday we all discussed about how Aarti and Yash need a proper wake-up call to realise that both needs to strike a proper balance in parenting and we were wondering how this will b done ..I guess today CVs gave us the answer in the form of Ansh missing from school because this extreme case of Ansh missing will make both Yash and Aarti realise that its not about who is right and who is wrong ,its about striking the perfect balance which can show the right direction to all 3 kids
Yash knows that Husband-Wife talks r best to keep private ...he makes sure Bua does not listen ...hats off
First of all let me compliment Yash about one thing today ..when he sees Bua is keeping a close watch on their private interaction ,the first thing Yash does is drags Aarti outside in balcony because he does not want outsiders to listen to their private talks or tiffs ..Wowww what amazing direction ...
In other serials ,I bet husband-wife would hv been arguiing in open and we might hv seen Bua carrying the breaking news to Gayatri but here the moment Yash sees Bua eavesdropping ,he stops and takes Aarti outside in private......This proves that Yash is quite a fair person and he will never want his wife or his kids to become a subject of gossip for such ladies ...Its a simple scene but leaves a very positive mark on Yash's character
Ansh goes missing ...A final wake-up call for Yash and Aarti ...
I feel Yash's intention to send Ansh to new school by force was not wrong ... Every young child cries to go to a new school in the beginning but slowly he gets used to it ...so Yash thought Ansh too is scared because his mother is really over protective about him and so today he has become like that ..In fact Yash changes Ansh's dress and carries him to the car with full authority of a father which I liked ...it proves Yash considers Ansh his own kid and so he takes Ansh to the car with full command ...
What Yash said to Aarti about her over-possessiveness because of which she is further distancing Ansh from him and his family was also right because unless Aarti frees Ansh's hand for sometime and allows him to fly in the air on his own ,how will Ansh go and mix with Yash or his family ?? ...In fact we too hv mentioned it many times that Aarti does not need to take Ansh with her everywhere 24/7 because then Ansh will never come close to other family members if he sticks 24/7 with his mother na which is quite a valid point made by Yash
So the points which Yash made regarding Aarti's possessive attitude towards Ansh or the main purpose of their Marriage is right ...
But here what Yash is not realising is that he is completely overlooking the flaws in PayPal and feels that all the faults are in Ansh only while his own daughters r perfect which is his biggest misconception ...Yash is so much into disciplining Ansh with strict and forced schooling that he is completely ignoring some of the major problems in PayPal and is not realising that PayPal r becoming almost like those typical plotting and scheaming type ladies because thats what they r learning from Gayatri and other ladies of the house ...
If PayPal r behind Ansh's condition since in today's episode they were plotting about locking up Ansh in school ,then its high time Yash applies those strict methods of discipline on PayPal and not Ansh because Ansh might b a bit spoilt but he is not those plotting and scheaming types like PayPal which is more dangerous for a kid ...If a kid is spoilt ,u can discipline him properly but if a kid starts plotting and scheaming in such young age ,then there is something horribly wrong in their upbringing for sure which Yash needs to seriously look into and for once blast PayPal if at all they r behind this whole mess
I feel this whole incident is a good wake up call for Yash to actually witness with his own eyes that who needs manners and discipline ...Ansh or PayPal ??
Also Yash has not witnessed with his own eyes the cruel punishment given to Ansh last week and so he feels its normal for his mother to give such punishment to kids but now when he will see Ansh's condition tomorrow ,he will realise the whole scenario of what might hv actually happened with Ansh last week when Gayatri locked up Ansh in a room and today mayb his daughters did the same with Ansh ...Like I said hearing about certain punishments and witnessing it with own eyes has lots of difference ...So finally Yash will witness what knid of treatment Ansh is given by his own daughters tomorrow
I do feel that this particular incident will b a wake up call for both Yash-Aarti and they will realise the proper importance of communication finally ..Till now both were trying to compete with each other and prove a point regarding who is best in parenting ...Yash was busy trying to show Aarti's flaws like how she is overpossessive and over-sensitive but he dint realise that his own ways too r strict ,foreceful and insensitive for a young kid ... On the other hand Aarti was busy trying to show Yash's flaws like how his way of parenting is wrong or how he is wrong bribing Ansh about roller coaster ride but she dint realise that her way of giving in to every demand of Ansh or encouraging his fears is not right either ...
So basically both were busy pointing out each other's flaws rather than rectifying their own set of flaws and there lies the whole problem ..This particular incident will shake them up and they will finally realise the importance of jointly taking decisions for the kids rather than compete against each other ..
About the precap ,I feel mayb Ansh was locked in schook only by PayPal but he manages to somehow come out of the locked school room and get into the road but he does not know how to reach home ...I m sure Yash and Aarti will find Ansh somehow ,but from here on Yash will hv to make real efforts to get Ansh out of this depression and scare ..Overall a terrific episode with some fabulous display of acting by Gurmeet and Kratika
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Let me start todays episode analysis with kudos to Samana! From yesterday she has been saying that somehow Yash is being too smug and high-handed on the Ansh school issue, and not consulting with Aarti enough ... and that he is due for a major showdown sooner or later! Well, it seems to have cascaded on his head today ...!
The theme I've chosen for today's episode is a question:
Is this pariwar of the Scindias - and Yash especially - trying to achieve too much, too soon and with too much insensitivity?
I am going to put aside the sundry items on today's episode (like Bua and Gayatri and Pratik and Papa Scindia et al and their RJ Paridi cover up) ... and I am going to just focus on Yash and Aarti and their methods ... who is doing what and why, and why it is working or not working. And going forward what needs to happen to bring balance to all sides ...
Yash is pushing too hard, too ruthlessly and getting negative results
Yash has gone over the top, I feel, in this whole handling of Ansh and his discipline. Yesterday I was prepared to give him some brownie points for trying to do something good for Ansh's ultimate benefit, and I even thought his lecturing of Aarti on not being too possessive with Ansh was somehow reasonable. But today his forceful despatching of Ansh to school and then his flare-up with Aarti because she was too clingy on Ansh, took things way too far.
Now look at the mess ... Yash has no answers for Aarti who is demanding to know where Ansh is. Behind this rough and ready method of Yash, I also feel that Payal and Palak are getting away with murder. It was they who spooked Ansh, talking again about locking him up in a scary schoolroom! Nobody seems to be even noticing the disgusting mischief of these two girls?
If Yash had demonstrated an ounce of sensitivity this morning he should have at least tried to find out why Ansh was balking from going to school? After all yesterday the boy had happily promised his father that he would? Did Yash not even question why Ansh changed his mind suddenly?
Already it is bad enough that Yash saw no need to consult Aarti or show sensitivity to her wishes in this whole schooling matter, but as a responsible father, could he not have at least tried to question why Ansh was fearful? Can he just assume that every child who tries to avoid school is just having an "adjustment problem"? Now let's see how he's going to get himself out of this crisis ...!
Aarti is pulling too tightly, too often and is not being taken seriously
Aarti 's problem is that she is obsessing continuously and constantly as far as Ansh is concerned ... not just during this school-going issue, but as a rule at any time with with anything concerned with Ansh. In an indirect way I would even fault Aarti's possessiveness and overprotective worry over Ansh has contributed to his whole problems today.
I am sorry if I have to say this against her, on a day when she has had the worst shock of her life and has reached a point of total heartbreak. This is probably not the time to find fault with her. But if we just put aside today's specific catastrophe and ask dispassionately if her behaviour towards Ansh is in general helping or hindering Ansh, we have to conclude that Aarti too is not really doing right by Ansh ...
What I feel is, if Aarti was not generally so overfussy and preoccupied so much about Ansh, the family - and especially Yash - would take her seriously when she does make one or two critical points about Ansh. But because Aarti is constantly fussing over Ansh, the family - and Yash - are tending to take her sentiments and opinions as "typical"... as the same thing she does all the time! It's like nobody took seriously the boy who was crying "Wolf" all the time, when a real wolf did come!
If Aarti's opinions should matter in this household especially where Ansh is concerned she too has to demonstrate that she is not automatically worrying at the drop of a hat, or almost constantly, about the less serious concerns, but she is definitely serious about the larger issues. Aarti needs to find a way to be taken seriously, and it is as much her own responsibility to command respect for her views, as it is the duty of Yash to listen to her!
This confrontation was sorely needed ...
One thing that strikes me is that this confrontation itself was definitely needed between Aarti and Yash, because of four important reasons:
a. This whole confrontation has made Yash and Aarti the "family unit" ...and it has somehow removed the extended family from interference in their affairs. They are now taking within themselves rather than talking with or through the elders and other family members. That has been a side-effect of this confrontation.
b. Yash needed a bit of humbling. He was going far beyond what was right and carrying his point to extremes. Yash in fact seems to have inherited his father "authority-mindedness" and his mother's "extreme actions". He needs to have less of both these qualities. He needed to eat humble pie.
c. Aarti needed to wake up from continual and obsessive Ansh-possessiveness into becoming "more authoritative on a few critical issues that matter". She needs to detach from Ansh a bit to restore her ability to "intervene when needed strongly" instead of "all the time compulsively".
d. The family needed this high tension drama to understand that they cannot belittle the mother-son relationship between Aarti and Ansh ... and they cannot also insist on - or even demand - such urgency in the integration of Ansh and Aarti into their family. Gayatri, the Casanova, and also the Bua seem to be forever judging Aarti and Ansh as to whether they have submerged themselves into the values of this family or not, and they are not allowing the space and time for this to happen naturally. Now let them realise the consequences of pushing Aarti and Ansh too far too fast!
How can they redress the balance?
I have fivesuggestions:
1. What Aarti and Yash may need to do is to first is to sink their ego-defined hardened positions, and both need to get a bit "less". His ego is driving ruthlessness, and her ego is driving obsession.
2. They need to both listen more than they talk. They cannot handle the kids unless they first level with each other. And they cannot level with each other if don't hear each other and "lecturing" each other is their mode of talk. They need to both be part of the same team on the same side instead of acting like adversaries.
3. They need to both try and keep the rest of the family out of their affairs and discuss whatever they need to in the privacy of their bedroom. This crisis has now given them an opportunity when the rest of the family is also re-evaluating their rights and wrongs. This is a good chance to handle the crisis between themselves and to know how to keep the family at bay in future.
4. They need to talk before things happen rather than react as things happen. Being pro-active rather than reactive needs to become a deliberate style. The time to talk about schooling is before and not after admitting the child at a new school! Yash needs to learn to be pro-active if he wants to carry out some ideas but he cannot be genuinely pro-active if he does not carry Aarti with him on his ideas. And Aarti should learn to voice her need to be part of decision-making instead of making it look like overfussy concern.
5. The whole family of Aarti and Yash - and that includes Payal, Palak and Ansh - are like the five interconnected rings. Aarti and Yash cannot redress any situation with Ansh, for example, unless they also simultameosuly consider the role of Payal and Palak in every episode. Today they are all looking soleley at Ansh without the faintest clue about the roles Payal and Palak have played. Tomorrow they may do PayPal the same injustice if they do not also waqtch out for Ansh's retaliatory mischief.
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superb episode. Hated yash for snding ansh to skl. payal palak need to stop the nonsense. they are acting lyk manipultive adults wen dey r suposed to b kids. ARTI. oh she acted brilliantly, i forgot she was acting for a moment. i cried with her. only she undstnds wt it means to lose a child. Gayatri and Bua can lyk to stop complaining n try to supoort her even if its for a minute.